


Booze Cruise

by rthstewart



Series: The Stone Gryphon [3]
Category: Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: His Lordship the Penguin, Tebbitt, The Stone Gryphon, World War II, the queen susan in tashbaan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 12:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16218923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rthstewart/pseuds/rthstewart
Summary: Mrs. Susan Caspian and Wing Commander Reginald Tebbitt sail through the swamp that is 1942 Washington D.C. and rescue the Anglo-American alliance.





	Booze Cruise

The genesis for this was Larm who was inspired by the picture of a naked American flyer at the gun of a PBY Dumbo during an air-sea rescue in the Pacific Theater during World War II. Larm inserted Wing Commander Tebbitt into the picture and demanded I elaborate. When Larm suggested hot air balloons and a convent, Autumnia had a more plausible suggestion involving the rescue of Lord Halifax, the Penguin, and Ambassador to the United States during the summer of 1942 when Mrs. Susan Caspian is romping through Washington D.C. aiding the British War effort.

You should assume this little adventure occurs in the summer of 1942, after the big embassy party in Chapter 10 of TQSiT. However, this is far more fiction than historical.  The Narnia conceit was so helpful in TQSiT precisely because otherwise I would be placing Mrs. Caspian and WC Tebbitt in among real people. To avoid that here, I've blurred some names or just not named certain characters at all.

Also, as so often happens, there are parallels to today which shall not go unremarked. 

* * *

Susan hoped she regained her sea legs quickly. The _Blue Mist_ was beautiful, over 100 feet long, a two-masted sloop? ketch? schooner? The distinctions were not ones Narnia had provided her. Given the _Blue Mist_ 's relatively small masts and sails, and the overall size of the yacht, as compared to her experiences on the galleons of her own era, she thought this one probably relied on both powerful motors and wind.

"Mrs. Caspian, you are looking very nautical this evening," Tebbitt said, helping her up the yacht's shaky gangway from the Annapolis dock. Susan had been very pleased with her sailor style dress and had eschewed her peep-toed heels for a more sensible espadrille wedge. She well-remembered the difficulty in keeping your footing on a moving boat under sail!

"Thank you, Wing Commander. And it is always nice to see you in your uniform dress. I think you polished those buttons." Under her breath she added, "The Congresswoman will be very impressed."

"Lie back and think of American tanks," he muttered in return, then turned to hand up the next lady. "Mrs. Martin! So good to see you! Welcome aboard the _Blue Mist_!"

Mrs. Martin was the wife of the Republican Minority Leader in the House of Representatives. The Republican Whip and his wife, the House Republican Conference Chair and his wife, and other members of the Republican Minority leadership, possibly with ladies not their wives, _and_ Democratic and Republican members of the House and Senate Military Affairs Committees were all the special guests this evening of the Penguin himself, Lord Halifax, British Ambassador to the United States.

Susan deemed it a small price if the boat actually sank during their 4-hour cruise that evening and took down to the bottom of the Chesapeake Bay all of the Republican leadership and, if they were exceptionally fortunate, the Penguin and the virulently Anglophobic Democratic Chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee. Perhaps they might drown "America First" isolationism for good.

As lovely as the yacht was and though it was an enormous relief to spend an evening on the water away from Washington's oppressive summer heat and humidity, there was not enough booze in all of Maryland to deaden the pain of an entire evening with American politicians and their anti-British sentiment. Tebbitt could, if sufficiently provoked by yet _another_ criticism of India, easily chuck the Chairman of the Senate Military Affairs Committee over the side. She wouldn't blame him, and might even help him.

But, duty prevailed over the wicked pleasure of watching politicians drown and, to that end, Susan immediately headed to the bar. "Wing Commander Tebbitt? The tall man in the blue uniform? Nothing stronger than pale dry ginger ale or tonic. No alcohol." She made sure the bartender and waitresses saw him on the dock still helping the guests aboard and emphasized the message with fistfuls of dollar bills.

In honor of the locale and the misery to come, Susan helped herself to a single shot of rum and downed it quickly so that she could join Tebbit for the rest of the evening as a teetotaler.

From the ship's railing on the port side, Susan waved as the stylish Congresswoman alighted from her limousine, gems glittering, billowing white resort pants and jacket, and her head wrapped in an elegant turban. She moved toward Tebbitt as a shark ready to devour its prey. Apart from the difficulty generally in keeping sober on a moving, swaying boat, Susan wanted to ensure Tebbitt remained unimpaired. He would surely be going home in the Congresswoman's car and she would expect his performance no later than their return to her Georgetown townhouse and possibly sooner – there were state rooms in the cabins below deck.

She made sure her neckline was up as high as it could go, her hems as low as they could go, and the cigar band wedding ring prominent. Not that marriage was a deterrent in this crowd.

Armed and ready, she marched into battle to finagle a couple hundred Sherman Tanks and war materiel from the American government for the sake of the British Eighth Army and the dire North Africa campaign.

* * *

The sun had set and the moon shone large and lovely over the Bay. It was a bracing evening and they had been steadily motoring forward for over two hours. Susan thought that when the Captain brought the ship about, they would probably raise the sails and do a lovely, long run back to port with the wind at their back.

The venue had been lovely; the company, less so.

"Ambassador Halifax's hospitality is generous, most particularly with the liquor," the Congresswoman said. The three of them had to step aside as yet another Member of Congress stumbled to the railing to vomit over the side. "If he hopes to ease through Committee the President's latest groveling to your Prime Minister, it would probably be good if some members were able to remember their gratitude."

Susan addressed the important point and would not get embroiled in the slur. "Yet, as allies, we are all united in the imperative to stop Hitler."

They had been doing this for weeks now and Tebbitt was sober so he could follow their script for the evening. "Sending the II Corps to England would be a vital step toward that goal, Congresswoman."

"Oh, for England's well-being, certainly. But for us? As I see it, the risk in the Pacific is far greater to Americans. Why send 30,000 troops for Churchill to abuse when they could be put to better effect against the enemy that actually attacked us?" She made a slight adjustment to her elegant turban and sipped her champagne cocktail. "And I might feel more confident in seeing American supplies diverted to your North African campaign if there was any confidence they would be deployed by competent leadership. The British command is Africa is a disaster."

Privately, Susan agreed with the Congresswoman. "General Auchinleck has relieved General Ritchie, Congresswoman."

"And promptly lost Mersa Matruh."

When the facts failed them, deploy other measures. Tebbitt stepped closer to her, speaking softer and persuasively. "We have no reason to believe Hitler's insane desire for conquest of even Africa and Russia will end there. If the Afrika Korps are not stopped, they will have access to all the oil and supplies they need to advance anywhere they wish."

The Congresswoman sighed. "Yes, yes, I see the point, of course," and sipped her cocktail. "Enough for now. I've had either too little or too much drink to counter both you _and_ Mrs. Caspian."

"We are merely patriots doing our duty in a very large war, Congresswoman," Susan said, smiling in return, "and we respect that you have your own duty to your  country and constituents."

"But, Cuz, this is _not just_ duty!" Tebbitt said and gently squeezed the hand the Congresswoman had placed on his arm.

_He's so good at this._

"You surprise me, Wing Commander," the Congresswoman said. "I did not think you would so enjoy being at sea."

"Oh it is most certainly the company," Tebbitt replied with a heart-stoppingly warm smile.

_So very, very good at this game._

Another Senator lurched by them and, though Susan hugged the rail, he still, deliberately, came too close and she felt his hand linger on her buttocks. She worked to keep her expression pleasant and neutral. He didn't look back and bumbled on toward the bar.

"But your observation is sound as always, Congresswoman. I come from a long line of Navy men, and sailed my whole life and rowed at Uni," Tebbitt replied. "Ultimately, though, I was mad for the air and decided I would rather fly over the sea then be on it or under it."

"And you, Mrs. Caspian? You seem remarkably sure-footed."

Susan wondered if the Congresswoman had noticed how often she was dancing out of reach of the drunken Senators and Representatives bumbling by and into her.

"It is lovely to be out on the water, Congresswoman. I've always enjoyed sailing and swimming was my sport in school."

The three of them turned at the sound of raised voices at the stern. Lord Halifax was arguing with the Senate Chairman of the Military Affairs Committee.  The Senator _was_ vile, nearly 60, had just married a woman not yet 20, and, completely and reasonably, saw every one of his virulently Anglophobic prejudices confirmed in Lord Halifax. 

"Excuse me," Susan said. "I should…"

"Nonsense, Mrs. Caspian. Nothing good will come of you getting within an arm's length of the Senator. The Colonist and the Fascist deserve one another and are too drunk to remember the squabble."

Susan knew who the Colonizer was – Lord Halifax had been Viceroy to India. She made note to track down the basis for the Senator aligning more with Mussolini than his own Party.

The Congresswoman thrust her drink at Tebbitt. "Wing Commander, would you please refresh that for me?"

Tebbitt's glance at her was expressive. Susan shooed him away. "Do your duty, Cuz. The Congresswoman is thirsty!"

His "Aye, aye!" was comically Navy. Tebbitt sauntered off, the Congresswoman frankly admiring of his retreating back until he ducked into the main cabin.

Susan felt the Congresswoman's considerable attention turn to focus solely on her. She leaned against the railing and casually sipped her ginger ale. _Aslan guide me._

"I suspect you will be sore tomorrow from all the pinching, Mrs. Caspian."

So she _had_ noticed.

"It is of no consequence," Susan said, lying. She had endured similar before, though Lambert's teeth or her own drawn knife usually prevented a repeat. "It is what drunken men do."

"You take no pleasure in it. I think more accurately you deem it your duty to suffer it for the greater good of England."

"It is especially no consequence when weighed against the daily sacrifices of my countrymen and women."

"It makes you appear weak."

Susan was prepared to take offense, albeit very diplomatically, but the Congresswoman waved her hand dismissively. "Forgive me, I misspoke. You are plainly not weak at all, Mrs. Caspian. What you lack is power."

 _That_ , Susan would have to accede.

"So if the solution is power, how does one acquire it, Congresswoman?"

"If you are a man, forget that nonsense Horatio Alger myth. Men inherit power from their fathers."

"That sounds remarkably like the same critique some," she cocked her head in the direction of the Senator yelling at Lord Halifax, "level at England." These were, in fact, criticisms the Congresswoman herself had made of the British.

The Congresswoman arched an eyebrow, a mannerism Susan knew she also excelled at. "It does indeed, Mrs. Caspian."

"So if a man inherits it, how then does a woman acquire power, Congresswoman?"

_Besides having the Lion give it to you and fulfilling a prophecy?_

"Follow my own example. The easiest way for a woman to get power is to marry it and then take her husband's."

"The easiest, yes. But not the only? I hope?"

Susan perhaps let too much of her own feeling out. But the Congresswoman tapped a beautifully manicured finger to her lips. "Dine with me, some time, Mrs. Caspian. Without the Wing Commander."

"Oh? Should I just leave then?" Tebbitt said. "Take this delicious drink with me?"

"Certainly not!"

"As you command, Congresswoman," and handed the precious drink over. "And, ladies, I suggest you brace. I heard the bartender say supplies were running low so the Captain was turning us around to return to Annapolis."

Susan felt the engines thrum and the yacht began her wide turn.

"Hold on," Tebbitt said. "We'll be crossing our own wake. It will get bumpy."

She braced against the rail; the Congresswoman was braced against Tebbitt.

The yelling from the stern increased in tempo and volume. The Senator was yelling about India and American boys not dying to save a bunch of fox hunters and Lord Halifax had puffed up to twice his normal size. Susan felt the boat rise up, and come down _hard_.

The shouts, the splashes, and the oaths all occurred at the same moment. The shrieks of help were a breath later.

"Go get the crew!" Tebbitt shouted at the Congresswoman. "We need to bring the boat around!"

She grabbed the life buoy hanging on the rail and ran to the stern and frantically searched the dark water but it was a churn of black waves and white caps. "Sirs! Are you alright!?" The yacht was moving too fast, _away from them_.

Tebbitt was already next to her with another ring.

"I can't swim! Help!" Susan flung the life buoy as far she could in the direction of the voice. She thought it was Lord Halifax.

"I've thrown you a life preserver, Sir. I'm coming!"

"Over here! Help! I'll drown."

"Senator I'm throwing a buoy to you," Tebbitt shouted and threw his ring out towards the Senator.

Susan was already removing her shoes. "They'll drown. We have to go in." She pulled the zipper down the back and let the dress fall.

A crew member ran up. "Sir!?"

The Senator and Halifax were both shouting, the boat was still moving. Tebbitt yanked off his jacket and Susan heard the shiny buttons pop and ping onto the deck. "Tell the Captain. Bring us around, slow. Need the crew to haul us back up, searchlights. Try not to run over us."

He gave the crewman a shove. "Go!"

The longer they waited, the further away they were. Susan grabbed a preserver and climbed up the railing. "I'm going for Halifax." The Senator was a big man.

"Lord Halifax! I'm coming! Keep calling! I'll find you!"

"What about me!?"

"I'm coming, Sir!" Tebbitt shouted. "There are buoys in the water! Near you!" He pulled off one boot and tossed it aside.

It was a long way down from deck to cold, dark, churning water and a man might die. She jumped, arcing as far from the boat as she could, hit the water, and started swimming.

The bay didn't knock the breath out of her – relative to snow-fed run-off, it was warm. The chop wasn't bad. Swimming in her slip and brassiere wasn't ideal but manageable. _I can do this._

She kept her head up, treading water, trying to listen, murmuring a frantic prayer for the man she was trying to – _would_ – save. _For Aslan's sake, why didn't the Penguin know how to swim?_

"Help! Help!"

She spotted the lifesaver ring she'd flung and pushed it towards the voice. "I'm coming, Sir. Just keep splashing. I'm almost there."

And then she was.

Susan was worried he would try to cling to her and bring them both under but he grappled for the ring first. She popped it over his head so that he was floating in the middle of it, with his arms over the sides.

"Sir, can you take your shoes off?"

"I've lost my monocle!"

"Yes, sir. Can you take your shoes off?"

"No! Of course not!"

_Right then._

"Tebbitt! Senator!"

She could hear the sounds of the boat turning, and now coming toward them. A flare shot out from the boat, illuminating the water around her. And then another.

"Over here!"

She was going to start swimming toward the Senator's panicked voice when she heard Tebbitt. "Grab the preserver!"

"Got him! Susan?!"

"Yes! We're fine!" Well fine until they got chewed up by boat engines. Looking about, bobbing up and down over the waves, she could see Tebbitt and the Senator, not far, but she knew distances were deceptive.

Someone had the searchlight going and she was relieved that the ship was now proceeding very slowly. Having achieved the rescue, they didn't want to get run over. Putting one hand on the ring encircling the Penguin to brace herself, she began flailing her preserver about. "We're here!"

Tebbitt's bellow was even louder.

"If you could hold on to the ring and kick, Sir."

"Kick?"

"Your feet, Sir."

Not only could the Penguin not swim, he was still drunk.

It was flailing, awkward, and he kept complaining, but she managed to close the distance.

She could hear shouting from the deck of the boat and the searchlight moved methodically, back and forth. And then she was blinded but knew they had been spotted as a cheer went up from the boat.

It took every sober man on board – there were only three, plus the Captain and bartender, to get the furious, drunk and still squabbling  Senator and Lord Halifax back on board. The crew tossed a rope ladder but both men had to be hauled up, very unceremoniously. The Senator required an additional rope and winch. Neither had been willing to take off his shoes.

Susan was treading water next to Tebbitt, and they were handing up the preserver rings, when the spotlight illuminated something unexpected.

_Oh dear._

Her underthings had managed to stay on, though her slip would cling horribly. Tebbitt had not been as fortunate. He probably dove right out of his pants.

"Ladies first."

"Given your state, I insist you go first, Tebbitt. At least you can preserve your modesty from _me_."

"Nothing for it now, Mrs. C."

She couldn't tell if he was embarrassed. They were mostly just wet and tired and had merely saved the Anglo-American Alliance from death by drunken drowning.

She grabbed the edge of the rope ladder. "Please have a towel ready for the Wing Commander!"

"I have one!" The Congresswoman was standing above them on the deck, waving a white towel.

"Damn," Tebbitt muttered.

"Up you go."

She did get an excellent view of Tebbitt's lean backside and legs as he clambered up the ladder. Tebbitt's front view, Susan ceded to the Congresswoman. Power was entitled to its privilege.

 

* * *

 

Isolationists were generally supportive of American entry into World War 2 after the attack on Pearl Harbor but many were committed to an American First position, sought to keep focus on the Pacific theater rather than the European front, and remained opposed to aiding those aristocratic, imperialist fox hunters, the British. Full American engagement in the European theater will not occur for another 6 months, with the North Africa invasion and Operation Torch. This hostility to British interests was what, as I alluded to in TQSiT, resulted in Roald Dahl being ordered into the bed of Congresswoman Clare Booth Luce (R-CT) in the hope of softening the America First opposition to President Roosevelt providing more aid to the British.  As mentioned, this is far more fiction than historical.  Congresswoman Luce will not be elected to Congress until November 1942.  The Senator referred to is inspired by Senator Robert Reynolds who, though a Democrat, was [a virulent isolationist, anti-Semitic fascist who _hated_ the British ](https://web.archive.org/web/20131021185357/http://berlin.wolf.ox.ac.uk/published_works/singles/bib139a/bib139a.pdf)and had at the time married a 19-year old young woman but a year earlier -- his 5th marriage.  Interestingly, Senator Reynolds' wife was the daughter of Evayln Walsh McLean, the Hope Diamond heiress who was the inspiration for the Tarkheena with the monkeys in Chapter 15 of TQSiT. 


End file.
